🧪 Five Phrases That Make People Discount What You’re Saying

 Communication is a powerful tool, but it’s also one that requires careful attention. Whether you’re trying to influence others, express your ideas, or simply share information, the way you communicate can make all the difference in how your message is received. Sometimes, however, certain phrases—whether said intentionally or unintentionally—can undermine your message and cause others to discount what you're saying.

 In this article, we’ll examine five phrases that can make people discount your words and how to avoid them in order to communicate more effectively and persuasively.

 1. "I’m Not an Expert, But..."

Why It’s Problematic:

When you start a statement with “I’m not an expert,” you're preemptively undermining your own credibility. Regardless of whether you're speaking from experience or offering valid insight, this phrase sends the message that what you're about to say isn't reliable, or might be unqualified. This can make people question the accuracy of your point, even if you have valuable information to offer.

 The Impact:

• Reduces Credibility: Saying you're not an expert suggests that your perspective isn't trustworthy, no matter how relevant or well-informed your opinion might be.
• Undermines Confidence: Your audience will pick up on your lack of confidence, which can make them question the value of what you're saying.
• Shifts Focus: Instead of focusing on the content of your message, the focus shifts to your perceived lack of authority.

 How to Fix It:

Instead of using this phrase, focus on what you do know and speak confidently about it. If you're offering an opinion or insight, say something like, “In my experience...” or “From what I've observed…” These approaches convey more authority without making you sound unsure of your message.

 2. "This Might Be Stupid, But..."

Why It’s Problematic:

This phrase is a classic self-doubt marker. By saying something might be “stupid,” you're immediately discounting your own thoughts before anyone else has the chance to consider them. People may dismiss your ideas simply because you’ve invited them to think of your contribution as less valuable.

 The Impact:

• Invites Dismissal: By doubting yourself, you're giving others permission to brush off your ideas.
• Deflects Responsibility: This phrasing diverts the responsibility of your idea from you to the listener. You’re essentially saying, “I’m not sure, but listen anyway.”
• Weakens Your Message: Even if your idea has merit, starting with self-deprecation makes it easier for others to discount it as trivial or irrelevant.

 How to Fix It:

Avoid belittling your ideas before they’re even fully heard. If you're worried about the value of your point, frame it in a way that invites consideration, such as: “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this” or “I think this might be an interesting perspective.” This shows that you're confident and open to discussion without undermining your own input.

 3. "I Don’t Know, But..."

Why It’s Problematic:

"I don’t know, but..." often signals that you’re about to give an opinion or idea that’s not backed by information or expertise. While it’s perfectly fine to admit when you don’t have all the answers, the phrase can make listeners skeptical about your knowledge or the reliability of what you’re about to say.

 The Impact:

• Decreases Trustworthiness: Starting with an admission of ignorance sets a tone of uncertainty, which can diminish the credibility of your statement.
• Creates Ambiguity: If you’re not sure about the subject, people may question whether your entire argument is based on a weak foundation.
• Can Sound Defensive: This phrase often comes across as a preemptive excuse, signaling that you're not taking full ownership of your ideas.

 How to Fix It:

Instead of leading with a lack of knowledge, try framing your thoughts more positively, such as: “Here’s what I do know…” or “I’m not entirely sure, but I think…” This allows you to present the information you have confidently while acknowledging that there may be limitations to your knowledge.

 4. "I’m Just Saying..."

Why It’s Problematic:

"I’m just saying..." is a phrase that often follows a statement meant to soften a blunt or potentially controversial remark. While it may seem like an innocuous way to backpedal or hedge your opinion, it actually weakens your statement by making it sound like you’re minimizing what you’ve said or suggesting that your words don’t carry weight.

 The Impact:

• Sounds Defensive: People may interpret this phrase as an attempt to avoid responsibility for your words, which can lead them to dismiss your message altogether.
• Undermines Authority: It sounds like you’re unsure of your position or hesitant to fully own it, which reduces the impact of your message.
• Invites Discounting: The phrase can imply that you didn’t mean your words seriously or that you’re not standing behind your opinion.

 

How to Fix It:

If you believe what you're saying, own it. Simply leave out “I’m just saying,” and allow the full impact of your words to land. If you feel the need to soften your point, try something like, “I know this might be a tough pill to swallow, but…” or “I see it this way, and here’s why…” These alternatives are more assertive and show confidence in your perspective.

 5. "To Be Honest..."

Why It’s Problematic:

This phrase can unintentionally signal that you’re being dishonest in other parts of the conversation. When you start a statement with “to be honest,” listeners may wonder, “Is this the only part that’s honest? What about the rest of what you’ve said?”

 The Impact:

• Raises Suspicion: It can make your audience wonder if other statements were not as truthful or transparent.
• Sows Doubt: This phrase creates a subtle suggestion that the speaker has been withholding the truth up until this point.
• Weakens Authority: By qualifying your statement as being “honest,” you diminish the perceived authenticity of your entire message.

 How to Fix It:

Instead of qualifying your statements with “to be honest,” aim to express your ideas clearly and directly. If you feel the need to add emphasis, try using phrases like, “I believe,” “In my opinion,” or “The way I see it.” These alternatives don’t introduce the potential for doubt and help maintain a consistent tone of trustworthiness throughout your message.

 

Why Phrasing Matters

The language we use is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves and the message we're communicating. When we use certain self-doubt phrases, we inadvertently diminish the strength of our arguments and the trust people place in us. Over time, these seemingly small phrases can chip away at our authority, make us seem insecure, and create an environment where our ideas aren't taken seriously.

 Language is a powerful tool, but it’s only effective if used thoughtfully and confidently. By avoiding phrases that undermine your message—such as “I’m not an expert, but...” or “I don’t know, but…”—you give your words the weight and authority they deserve. Instead, focus on framing your thoughts in a way that shows confidence and clarity, allowing your message to stand strong. Whether you’re giving a presentation, having a discussion, or simply offering advice, careful communication will ensure that your ideas are heard, respected, and, ultimately, acted upon.